Doubt is the father of invention.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

When the stars threw down their spears, and watered heaven with their tears, did he smile his work to see? Did he who made the Lamb make thee?

What our parents tell us when we are small seldom goes ignored, no matter how foolish it may be

Charlie Chaplin and I would have a friendly contest: Who could do the feature film with the least subtitles?

War therefore is an act of violence to compel our opponent to fulfill our will.

In the streets the children screamed. The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed

My computer tells me that in twenty-five years there will be no more computers.

It's exciting to have a role in anything that's Claymation, just because you're always intrigued by what a clay wizard version of yourself would be.

The way you get better is putting words on the page and getting them behind you.

Now love's the only thing that's free /We must take it where it's found /Pretty soon it may be costly

Heretics are the only bitter remedy against the entropy of human thought.