Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

I am aware of being in a beautiful prison, from which I can only escape by writing.

When I was a kid I never learned to play. I actually got in bands through watching people play and copying them.

The most important thing is to have a sense of responsibility, commitment, and concern for each of our fellow human beings.

Life in community is no less than a necessity for us, an inescapable ‘must’all life created by God exists in communal order and works toward community.

Why can't Pluto be a planet? Some people like Pluto. And if it doesn't exist then they don't have a favorite planet. Right? Please write back but not in cursive because I can't read cursive.

Perhaps success should not mean that you have nothing to say to anyone, no time for anybody, and not a moment left in your calendar for someone whom you might suddenly realize you love.

A diamond, though set in horns, is still a diamond, and sparkles in purest gold.

Whenever I pick up a jacket and it's heavy, I think, 'Oh, I don't want to wear that.'

Spirituality is allowing compassion and love to flourish. When belongness begins, corruption ends.

Keep your working power at its maximum.