Cholesterol to go with alcohol; all the bad things in English-speaking life end in -ol.

Life is a sandwich of activity between two periods of bed-wetting.

Even if you're the worst writer in the world, at least you'll have the evidence.

Writing books is a nice retreat. There's nothing quite like diving into a book for a few hours. That is a big time vacation.

That's part of fiction, creating a world better than the one you live in.

Is a gesture of charity genuine or is it a kind of deep moral tax write-off?

I knew I was supposed to be a writer; I had made that declaration in the closet of my soul.

I don't know any more about America than one knows being trapped in it.

Conversations are the most direct way to connect with people.

Heavy booze is a big time vacation, but you come back with a headache.

If I tell you that I have robbed a bank, prepare the correct reaction.

Leaders cannot build a successful nation once they are yoked to these two evils, ignarance and greed.

Maybe that is why in my comedy I try and puncture the hypocrisy all around us, why it is almost a crusade with me to strip life down to what really is true.

But even then I knew it wasn’t me that saved her life. It wasn’t about me. I was just there while she was maybe going to die and maybe not, and then she just didn’t.

Storytellers don't show, they tell. I'm sticking with that.

This is not to say, there never comes a day I'll take my chances and start again. And when I look behind on all my younger times, I'll have to thank the wrongs that led me to a love so strong.

Adoration is made out of a solitary soul occupying two bodies.

I just don't think we think about jurists as rock stars or great thinkers, particularly in the political world.

Aunt Petunia often said that Dudley looked like a baby angel — Harry often said that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig.

I have always been of the opinion that unpopularity earned by doing what is right is not unpopularity at all, but glory.

They haven't made love for years but sleep holding hands