Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

And though there’s a grain of truth in every rumor, I’ve found that the worst gossip usually starts with something harmless.

Find mebeneath your tongue, but not with other lipsnor by another tongueFind melet your yearning run wild as thirst seeks wateras silence seeks the soundFind meand I will be on my way...

A big hello from California!! And, when in doubt, self-publish, thank you smashwords.com!!!

I remember I used to come up to my teacher crying because I couldn't read. She would say: 'You can do this. You just don't want to do this.'

I love fresh vegetables and we always include them in our meals. I don't force my kids to eat asparagus, but they do eat peas, broccoli, and carrots.

The enemy is subtle, how be it we are so deceived, when truth's in our hearts and we still don't believe.

I have to laugh when I receive newsletters from major personalities and when you hit reply, you get a 'do-not-reply' address. It's ridiculous! Don't you want your customers to reply to you?

Responsibility is good for your soul

The "hole in the moral ozone" is really what's behind the hole in the ozone.

God is equally near in all creatures.