Bill has three goldfish. He buys two more. How many dogs live in London?

When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

The greatest thing about having a child is putting yourself second in your own life. It's a massive gift to be able to say you're not the most important person to yourself.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...

My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy

What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

Without you in my arms, I feel an emptiness in my soul. I find myself searching the crowds for your face - I know it's an impossibility, but I cannot help myself.

Having a system for thinking deeper can provide greater insight into solving everyday problem. Such a system is shared in my book, Medical Investigation 101.

Most of our so-called thinking processes are devoted to finding excuses for going on believing as we already do.

Dont want success, Deserve it !!!

Pressure and stress is the common cold of the psyche.

All I can think is that when you torment a person...the soul dies. When the soul dies, I suppose mercy dies, too.

I just like having fun. And, you know, sometimes I just like to present myself in that fun energy.

I wish I had an invisible plane to take me home to Brooklyn, and I wouldn't have to ride the subway.

If you're someone from the government and you meet people from other countries, you want to know who you're dealing with. It's the same for them [in Valerian].

History is rooted in the future