Bacon bits are like the fairy dust of the food community.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

Don't be afraid of change. You may lose something good, but you will gain something better.

Sometimes it's harder to say sorry, then it is to say goodbye.

Apologize v: to lay the foundation for a future offence.

I'm a DJ who makes dance music who got to play with Sting.

I think there's something in the fact that it's hard to be good looking and funny. You have to have an oddball quality people have to sympathise with you to find you funny.

We are still the America that does the hard things, that does the great things. We're the nation that always dared to dream. We're the nation that dared to take risks.

Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist--while you guys were busy arguing about the glass of wine, I drank it! Sincerely, the opportunist!

Never pursue literature as a trade.

Give me the control, don't ever come on the set, and I'll show it to you when it's cut.