As you watch the Gary Condit interview, three words come to mind: stiff, unbending and impenetrable. And that's just his hair.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

All top salespeople have a highly evolved will all top leaders have a highly evolved will you see it's the will that gives us the ability to focus

Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure

The great thing about this life of ours is that you can be someone different to everybody.

In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

I do not believe anything comes by chance. I regard the present as the necessary child of a necessary past.

Stop squandering yourself, child. Wait for love.

Do not dismantle the house, but look at each brick, and replace those which appear to be broken, which no longer support the structure.

If Aphrodite chills at home in Cyprus for most of the year, then Fez must be the goddess’s playground

I'm getting good offers, as good as ever sometimes. I just finished a thing with Billy Bob Thornton that was the most unique part I've ever played in my life, in the most unique project.

It is not so much great talents that God blesses, as great likeness to Christ.