As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it.

When you finally go back to your old home, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood.

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

A man can please his wife with a box of candy, surprise her with a bouquet of flowers, and make her suspicious with a gold bracelet.

A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day.

It's not the hours you put in your work that counts, it's the work you put in the hours.

Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.

Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.

There have been times on this trip I’ve been convinced that GPS was wrong.

But if you can't take me at my worstYou don't deserve me at my best"~ Machine Gun Kelly ft. Hallie Steinfield: "At My Best

I did all of my learning on 'My Fair Lady.'

Enjoy most: the prospect of having an impact on the public debate. Irritating liberals is a close second.

Bernie Ebbers and Ken Lay were caricatures - they were easy to spot. They were almost psychopaths. But it's much harder to spot problems at companies like Royal Dutch [Shell].

Starvation and disease are the original weapons of mass destruction. When you burn fields and kill animals, people are left vulnerable.

I'm glad I wrote the book to show what I found out about the [ Standard Oil Company]. I'm glad many people read my book and found out the truth.

You are in charge of your own attitude whatever others do or circumstances you face. The only person you can control is yourself...worry more about your attitude than your aptitude or lineage.

It is unfortunate that superior talent and superior men are so seldom united.

When the divine vision is attained, all appear equal; and there remains no distinction of good and bad, or of high and low.