And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

The English experience suggested that nobody really doubted the existence of God until theologians tried to prove it.

Mindful of not thanking their benefactors, in case, like wights, they took offense, she added, "Your kindness is gratefully acknowledged. May your trees be forever fruitful.

I live my daydreams in music.

I've seen the consequences of what can happen when you're unprepared for a fight, or not as prepared as your opponent.

If someone mistakes your kindness for weakness, that's their fault - not yours. And it's OK to be a decent human being in this life.

Love accepts. Forgiveness comes in time.

How can you do the right thing when you can't figure out what that is? When all you have before you are choices in various shades of wrong?

Wilderness is not so much a place, but a feeling about one.

The problem with the way we discuss gender is that it tends to be "Let's sympathize with women" or "Let's sympathize with men."

Bull markets and Bear markets can obscure mathematical laws, they cannot repeal them.