An optimist is merely an ex-pessimist with his pockets full of money, his digestion in good condition, and his wife in the country.

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

Teach faith as a non-negotiable - What should your family be aware of? Why should they be aware of these things? How will they become aware? When and at what stages must they become aware?

The first rule on breaking a rule is to know everything about the rule.

Without social networks, you're not the coolest thing on the Christmas list, and you're not getting any bite.

You cannot afford a world with slavery, which literally takes someone and turns them into a machine.

Most people my age are dead at the present time and you can look it up.

We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise, we harden.

Better to be the architect of something you can endorse than the placard waving protagonist standing in the rain.

Only you can impact the world in the way that God uniquely assigned to you.

It has been one of my difficulties, in arguing this question out of doors with friends or strangers, that I rarely find any intelligible agreement as to the object of the war.

It's weird. People want you to know that they write. They want you to know they're a musician, rather than making music or making stories. It's the strangest thing.