An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.

You can’t be beaten by something you laugh at.

I have the happy circumstance of either being accused of political grandstanding on the one hand or cover-ups on the other.

A good teacher creates an environment which allows the student to succeed.

I have cultivated my hysteria with pleasure and terror.

...in life it is often the tiny details that end up being the most important.

If you're onstage and you're improvising and nothing's happening, people are racing for the door. But the director can go shopping later and pick up pieces and moments and insert them.

Whatever deceives men seems to produce a magical enchantment.

The wave is not the water. The water merely told us about the wave moving by.

At the same time, [princess Margaret] had a fragility and an insecurity in who she was and her position, because her sister had always got the education ever since David [Edward VIII] abdicated.

The cardinal maxim is, that any aid to a present bad Bank is the surest mode of preventing the establishment of a future good Bank.