All Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson.

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.

If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.

The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.

If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

Shall any gazer see with mortal eyes, Or any searcher know by mortal mind, Veil after veil will lift--but there must be Veil upon veil behind.

They wanted me to sit, listen, learn, be quiet, when I wanted to run, shout, jump, fly.

Corruption is the abuse of power and position. Corrupts have bad habits and values. Become rigid and don't pay any bribe. If it is require to complain at the appropriate level, do that.

Everything I did that required effort, I opened my mouth. Even to catch a ball, I opened my mouth.

Some of my students have had really bad experiences with religion. They moved away from talking to God. For a lot of people, angels are a gentle route back to the Creator.

The inconvenience, the glaring lights, the long hours of waiting, and the repetition of every scene are all calculated to defeat anything more than a real mastery of love technique.

Globalization is a fact of life. But I believe we have underestimated its fragility.

If every school would hire two more music teachers, we would need two fewer police officers.

The liberty of using harmless pleasure will not be disputed; but it is still to be examined what pleasures are harmless.