'Adult Swim' on the Cartoon Network is unbelievable. And 'South Park' continues to do great stuff. And 'Family Guy' and the various other Seth MacFarlane projects are amazing.

Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

The scary thing about the future... there will be tiny cameras everywhere, and they'll be flying around like mosquitoes and drones. That will be bad. Drones are scary. You can't reason with a drone.

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

God often gives nuts to toothless people.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.

I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.

The Word of God I think of as a straight edge, which shows up our own crookedness. We can't really tell how crooked our thinking is until we line it up with the straight edge of Scripture.

Life is very nice, but it has no shape. The object of art is actually to give it some ..." Jean Anouilh, The Rehearsal

Forget about trying to "fix" your spouse's flaws. Instead, focus your attention on aspects and characteristics that you enjoy most.

Eyes darker than a midnight lake penetrate my thoughts with their intensity, and a big hand warmly covers mine

You have the power to love, to accept, to encourage, to lift someone's spirit, to hug, to help, to listen, to care!! YOU ARE A MIRACLE!

A perfect judge will read each word of wit with the same spirit that its author writ.

More and more, journalism seems to have hopped out of Truth's pocket and crept into another.

After directing movies, I respect any director in this world, because making a movie as a director is tons and tons of work.

Giving to other people makes me feel alive. Not my car or my house. Not what I look like in the mirror. When I give my time, when I can make someone smile after they were feeling sad.

All names mean something.