According to the recent polls, Bush has a slight lead over John Kerry. So today, Bush hung a banner over the White House saying, 'Mission Accomplished.'

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Percy (to Annabeth): If I was going to pick one person in the world to reattach my head, I'd pick you.Silena: Awww . . . Percy, that is so sweet!Annabeth: Shut up, Silena.

I can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses. It's all how you look at it.

All my good movies, nobody sees.

As an actor you become that lighting rod between the person who made the play and the audience.

The greatest fault of the day is the absence of stillness.

Those who have not distinguished themselves at school need not on that account be discouraged. the greatest minds do not necessarily ripen the quickest.

The only bookstore I had was the paperback rack at the drugstore.

If it takes a bloodbath now let's get it over with.

Honestly, you have to take care of yourself. That's probably something I have learned on the road.

Things are simple when you're going to die.