A new cologne is coming out. It's for cowboys, and it's made from cow's manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

We don't live as God intended us to, but we live as the Devil wants us to.

If I take death into my life, acknowledge it, and face it squarely, I will free myself from the anxiety of death and the pettiness of life - and only then will I be free to become myself.

There is no wilderness like a life without friends; friendship multiplies blessings and minimizes misfortunes; it is a unique remedy against adversity, and it soothes the soul.

As an actor, you can have your own backstory and prepare all the details that you need to know for your character.

You've got to have a gimmick if your band sucks.

Two things help me be a winner. One is I try to stay on an even keel. I don't get too high or too low. Two is I do a lot of visualization. I never see a bad pitch. I always see a good one.

I don't want to see anyone else looking like me.That'd be my nightmare. Though if I saw someone wearing what I did, I would know he was swaggy.

It's like, once you've seen Tom Hanks win the Golden Globes, the Oscars, you've seen his wife, what kind of car he drives, when you watch his movies, you can't fully get really lost in them.

Defensively, I think it’s important for us to tackle.

I identify who I am by who I am.