A large portion of the Earth's land area is taken up by old varsity jackets.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

Peace means nothing without freedom.

At the age of my play this country gave me a stone on my head.

If the cardiologist thinks the heart is a wonderful organ, the cardiologist never have heard of the uterus.

We are no longer happy so soon as we wish to be happier.

We want everybody to have the best facilities in which to work, but we do not believe in posh and impressive private offices.

I wanted to be a district attorney and solve hidden problems or maybe even be a leper-colony missionary and save people.

Once there is a distance between you and your thought process, a new freedom is born. With this freedom, a new perception arises.

Thunder blossoms gorgeously above our heads, Great, hollow, bell-like flowers

We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the human race.

We're thrilled to join Google. With their support, Nest will be even better placed to build simple, thoughtful devices that make life easier at home, and that have a positive impact on the world.