A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

You don't have to sit on top of a mountain to discover what's right for you. You always know in your heart what you need to do.

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth.

The welfare and the future of our societies depend on our capacity to remain mobilized so as to improve the health of every mother and child.

Roy Schneider was cool. I learned quite a bit from him.

He resisted for a while and there were some legal boundaries, you know, keeping me from being near him or his family, but in the end, love overcame. And I got what I wanted. I always get what I want.

If there was strife and contention in the home, very little else in life could compensate for it.

We disagree heavily on abortion [with Margot Hentoff].

The black players at this club lend the side a lot of skill and flair, but you also need white players to balance things up and give the team some brains and common sense.

History always has a few tricks up its frayed sleeve. It's been around a long time.

There is a divinity awaiting entry into human history at the threshold of our heart's doors.