A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

It’s one of the things I love about the sea, the way you can see weather afar. It’s like looking at the future.

When you have a dark side, nothing is ever as good as it seems.

Historically, it is quite doubtful whether Christ ever existed at all, and if He did we do not know anything about Him.

We are no longer citizens, we no longer have leaders. We're subjects, and we have rulers.

Somehow we must be able to show people that democracy is not about words, but action.

We probably have a greater love for those we support than for those who support us. Our vanity carries more weight than our self-interest.

Judo teaches us to look for the best possible course of action, whatever the individual circumstances.

I love everybody. Each one plays the role they have to play.

If you do your job right, no one realizes you did your job, and that's a good thing. You strive for that.

I can't never stop nobody, can't knock nobody hustle.