Witty Quotes

So you're mother? Nice to put a name to a face.

If every witty thing that's said was true, Oscar Wilde, the world would worship You!

For table-talk, I prefer the pleasant and witty before the learned and the grave; in bed, beauty before goodness.

I have a goofy side that impacts my clothing a lot. To that end, I love witty, colorful, prints.

This book fills a much-needed gap.

It is my opinion that a man's soul may be buried and perish under a dung-heap, or in a furrow field, just as well as under a pile of money.

I want my brain to slide back into the slot it was meant to be in, rest there the way it did before the fall of last year, back when I was young, witty, and my teachers said I had incredible promise.

Give me the luxuries and I can dispense with the necessities.

When you talk yourself, you think how witty, how original, how acute you are; but when another does so, you are very apt to think only - What a crib from Rochefoucauld!

I wish I knew all the answers, how to be perfect, attractive and witty. But I'm just a human being with all the regular faults and it seems no matter how hard I try, I can't change that.

Luckily the script [of X-files episode] was written wonderfully and that became who I was and I was quirky, and I was kind of agitated and not entirely happy, but at the same time, witty.

I always love it whenever Rose delivers one of her witty one-liners—particularly when it’s a completely serious situation. The contrast always amuses me, but then, I’m biased.

My commentary's hilarious, not witty.

Most people sitting at home aren't cool, successful, witty Hollywood stars, but they all worry about what people think of them when they faux pas.

I like witty people, people who can be witty on the spot.

Women will forgive anything. Otherwise, the race would have died out long ago.

The Law is a grim, unsmiling thing. Not Justice, though. Justice is witty and whimsical and kind and caring.

I've been enjoying 'Life on the Mississippi' by Mark Twain that I picked up at the airport randomly. It's very witty and interesting to read about his time as a steamboat pilot.

To hell with the cost, if it's a good story, I'll make it.

Keep a stiff upper chin.

The trouble with this business is the dearth of bad pictures.

This makes me so sore it gets my dandruff up.

He treats me like the dirt under my feet.

Don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories.

I never knew what an engineer did for a living when I was a kid. I still don't.

#3 pencils and quadrille pads.

I would tell the world that Shahrukh is the better actor

Witty and mean is easy - but fond and funny is hard.

Tired people aren't witty

A person who speaks cleverly is witty; one who asks questions is smart.

-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? -Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.

This is one of his most human and most amusing and witty novels. The characters are very Indian. I decided that I wanted to do a comedy, so this was just the right one.

What I don't like is snark for snark's sake. If you are going to make fun of me, at least be witty while doing it.

Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.

Either way, everything will be fine. But if you have an opinion, please feel free to offer it to me through the gap in the door of a public restroom. Everyone else does.

All my friends are funny, witty, fun-loving people. As are my parents, and the people I work with. I get at least a couple of good laughs in every day.

The habit of getting up early, which I had formed when the children were young, now became my choice. I am not very bright or very witty or very inventive after the sun goes down.

Every witticism is an inexact thought; that which is perfectly true is imperfectly witty.

The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French.

It is safer to beg than to take, but it is finer to take than to beg.

His principles were out of date, but there was a good deal to be said for his prejudices.

The wittiest authors raise the very slightest of smiles.

Every habit makes our hand more witty, and out wit more handy.

PU'RIST: one superstitiously nice in the use of words.

How unlucky that you should have a reasonable answer to give, and that I should be so reasonable as to admit it!

Why Fight When You Can Negotiate?

What are you - Secret Service?''If I were, I wouldn't admit it.''And you're not admitting it, I notice.

You were my marital bliss, ” he said to me this morning. “You can be again!” You know what I answered? “A marital blister, that’s what we’ll have if I stay.

It is the belief that we instill in them that makes them work round the clock to ensure it comes true.

Observ