Ned Vizzini Quotes

its hard to talk when you want to kill yourself

That's all I can do. I'll keep at it and hope it gets better.

So why am I depressed? That's the million-dollar question, baby, the Tootsie Roll question; not even the owl knows the answer to that one. I don't know either. All I know is the chronology.

I want to live but I want to die. What do I do?

I'm done with those; regrets are an excuse for people who have failed.

I don't know how I can be so ambitious and so lazy at the same time.

She doesn't want to end up like me. At least I'm giving someone an example not to follow.

Sometimes when you open a book, time stops.

I wanted to tell people, "My depression is acting up today" as an excuse for not seeing them, but I never managed to pull it off.

I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad.

Dr. Barney stared at me, his lips puckered. What was he so serious about? Who hasn’t thought about killing themselves, as a kid? How can you grow up in this world and not think about it?

I'm smart but not enough--just smart enough to have problems.

And I could have died right then. And considering how things went, I really should have.

I can't eat and I can't sleep. I'm not doing well in terms of being a functional human, you know?

I had fooled myself into thinking that I was something important to the rest of the world.

Life can't be cured, but it can be managed.

I have a system with bathrooms. I spend a lot of time in them. They are sanctuaries, public places of peace spaced throughout the world for people like me.

If you can't get out of bed for long enough, people come and take your bed away

I feel dead, wasted, awful, broken and useless. It's not the kind of feeling you forget.

Sometimes I wish I had an easy answer for why I'm depressed.

I'm fine. Well, I'm not fine - I'm here." "Is there something wrong with that?" "Absolutely.

My brain was all right back then; it didn't get stuck in ruts.

I found myself jealous of the people who wrote the books. They were dead and they were still taking up my time. Who did they think they were?

A person's relationship with food is one of their most important relationships.

Some of the most profound truths about us are things that we stop saying in the middle.

We look into each other's eyes as we shake. His are still full of death and horror, but in them I see my face reflected, and inside my tiny eyes inside his, I think I see some hope.

I think you run out of 'I love yous

It’s a huge thing, this Shift, just as big as I imagined. My brain doesn’t want to think anymore; all of a sudden it wants to do.

That made me happy. That was my Anchor.

deep down I believe my year was a special year: it produced me.

People are screwed up in this world. I'd rather be with someone screwed up and open about it than somebody perfect and ready to explode.

They're sort of ancillary anyway, friends. I mean, they're important -- everybody knows that; the TV tells you so -- but they come and go. You lose one friend, you pick up another.

My family shouldn't have to put up with me. They're good people, solid, happy. Sometimes when I'm with them I think I'm on television.

I don't owe people anything, and I don't have to talk to them any more than I feel I need to.

I was never big on rage.' 'Why?' "It's so much more angry in my head than it could ever be outside.

One thing I've learnt recently: how to think nothing. Here's the trick: don't have any interest in the world around you, don't have any hope for the future, and be warm.

That's the number one thing I hear about humans. You have all these choices, so you're confused all the time, and you think so much that you're never happy.

Do you even know who the enemy is?" "I think... it's me".

It's such a silly little thing, the heart.

Dreams are only dreams until you wake up and make them real.

That's worst than gonerreha, man!

I waste at least an hour every day lying in bed. Then I waste time pacing. I waste time thinking. I waste time being quiet and not saying anything because I'm afraid I'll stutter.

And when you say the truth you get stronger.

Dad nods, looks me dead in the eyes; slowly and regretfully, he banishes all the smiling and joking from his face, and for once he's just my dad, watching his son who has fallen so low.

The Shift hasn't happened yet, maybe it never will, but sometimes-just enough times to give me hope-my brain jars back into where it's supposed to be.

And that was the closest I've ever come to an epiphany.

I'm going to be here until I'm cured?" "Life is not cured, Mr. Gilner. Life is managed".

They always said on TV you could do anything you wanted, but here I was trying to do something and it wasn't working. I would never be able to do it.

I've had good moments scattered since then, times when I thought I was better, but that was the last day I felt triumphant.

I just want to not be me.