Witty Quotes

I've gone where the hand of man has never set foot.

We have that Indian scene. We can get the Indians from the reservoir.

A witty statesman said, you might prove anything by figures.

You have to remember that actors are human beings. Which is hard sometimes because they look so much better than human beings.

I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Nothing uses up alcohol faster than political argument.

You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.

My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony.

Before the Internet, if someone disappeared, it meant you should go looking for them. Now it means they got a life.

Many get the repute of being witty but thereby lose the credit of being sensible. Jest has its little hour, seriousness should have all the rest.

A witty illustration or an apt story will accomplish more than columns of argument.

Zimbabweans are so smart and witty and able to weave together tons of situations and experiences into terminologies that are just utterly original.

I will vote for the first candidate who promises to use nuclear missiles against LinkedIn.

There's a real emphasis on being witty in Scotland, even in crime novels.

If you fight angry, you make a lot of mistakes, and when you fight a sharp, witty fighter like me, you can't make mistakes.

Lukewarm persons think they may accommodate points of religion by middle ways and witty reconcilements,--as if they would make an arbitrament between God and man.

Every habit makes our hand more witty and our wit less handy.

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.

All geniuses die young.

It is perfectly possible to live a very moral life without a belief in God, and I think it's perfectly possible to live a life peppered with ill-doing and believe in God.

To have money is to be virtuous, honest, beautiful and witty And to be without is to be ugly and boring and stupid and useless.

Being witty was the only side effect of being depressed that was working for me.

The great joke is that a realist is an optimistic pessimist. That's very witty. Whether it's truthful or not, that I don't know.

I love making friends.... it's people I can't stand.

I like quips. I like whiffs of cynicism and I think they can be witty. But I don't really know where wittiness is constructive.

New York City gritty committee pity the fool that act shitty in the midst of the calm, the witty.

I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

Genius is born-not paid

The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.

Count on Jill Shalvis for a witty, steamy, unputdownable love story.

I'd like to do music in the same way - in a witty way. People think of YG artists as rarely appearing on TV but I'd like to make Big Bang fans happy through various mediums.

Between funny and witty Falls the shadow

A witty quote proves nothing.

Silence in love betrays more woe - Than words though ne'er so witty; A beggar that is dumb, you know, may challenge double pity.

I'm not so much interested in the return ON my money as I am in the return OF my money.

Politics make me sick

Science should be on tap, not on top.

Yes, I kidnapped that Lindberg baby.

The problem with a life spent reading is you know too much.

Whenever I think of something but can't think of what it was I was thinking of, I can't stop thinking until I think I'm thinking of it again. I think I think too much.

Once you’ve read too many trashy best-sellers, you begin to look for something with substance, something that attempts to define the universe.

And it's really very difficult to kill someone when all your inner instincts would oblige you to take off your hat first!

I hope that the kind reader recognises this as a despairing attempt at humour.

Who knew Demon Child would have such a normal name? I expected something exotic like Serena or Destiny or the Evil One That Comes in the Night to Make Us Chilly.

Never take advice about never taking advice. That is an old vice of men - to dish it out without being able to take it - the blind leading the blind into more blindness.

I enjoy poetry where I can talk as bizarre as I please, but theology or philosophy, I always respect the truth by taking it a step further.

Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism.

A technicality I'm prepared to hide wildly behind.

You noticed that I wore this outfit twice? Why, the only thing you wear twice is a sour expression.