Humor Quotes

Seriousness is the refuge of the shallow. There are events and personal experiences that call forth seriousness but they are fewer than most of us think.

If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during play-off season.

All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.

Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.

All men would still really like to own a train set.

The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.

No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.

Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.

Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.

I think I have a finely tuned sense of humor. I think just being around it and growing up in it... my dad and Mel Brooks and Norman Lear. These are the people I grew up around.

I've known Alan Zweibel since 1975, and I've always had this sneaking suspicion that he might possess a sense of humor. After reading CLOTHING OPTIONAL, I'm almost sure he does.

Is there a tumor in your humor?

Maybe there's a chance to get back to grown-up films. Anything that uses humor and dramatic values to deal with human emotions and gets down to what people are to people.

Humor is the pensiveness of wit.

Sheer madness is, of course, the highest possible brow in humor.

A freelance is one who gets paid by the word -- per piece or perhaps.

One cubic foot less of space and it would have constituted adultery.

Streets full of water. Please Advise.

In Milwaukee last month a man died laughing over one of his own jokes. That's what makes it so tough for us outsiders. We have to fight home competition.

Style and taste do not have anything to do with the other. It's the difference between wit and humor.

People who go for humor are wonderful because they do great humor. People who go for wit and end up with humor are people who have made a mistake.

I like girls who are funny with a warped sense of humor.

A true sonnet goes eight lines and then takes a turn for better or worse and goes six or eight lines more.

The generations that were exposed to sitcom have the people actually saying the line, saying the joke, whereas sort of before that you have much more observational humor.

I'm really interested in the link between creativity and humor because humor is a type of creativity, and I do think that humorous people and humorous health helps creativity.

As a cartoonist I do what I find funny. As an editor I have a broader approach realizing that humor is inherently subjective and I don't want my preferences to rule out what others might like.

I'm making fun of myself and I think I'm making fun of all men in our desperate, desperate attempt to understand the people we're with and hopefully through humor have them understand us.

I know everybody wants humor to be subversive and speak truth to power. I don't think power's been listening, incidentally.

It's mandatory in this day and age to be considered to have a sense of humor and to demonstrate it. You're not paying me for a joke, You're paying me for the right joke.

Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.

Humor itself is a great disinfectant. It enables people to listen.

I have found over the years that the most important way of getting people to relax is self-deprecating humor.

I guess I try to find the humor by juxtaposing deeper themes in literature with what people perceive as being lighter, disposable children's fare in comics.

The people who fear humor - and they are many - are suspicious of its power to present things in unexpected lights, to question received opinions and to suggest unforeseen possibilities.

Humor is a great defense, and an offense too. Usually the recipient isn't too happy about it, but the people around are laughing.

At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !

And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!

I told my doctor I got water on my knee, he gave me a sponge and raised his fee!

When I was born I brought no joy, my father said he wanted a boy!

A travel agent told I could spend 7 nights in HAWAII no days just nights.

I was a poster child... for birth control!

My wife's so dumb, she got a nail in the spare!!

Humor is the offspring of man; it comes forth like Minerva, fully armed from the brain.

There is a close relationship between the "ha-ha" of humor and the "aha!" of discovery.

My sense of humor tends toward both the dark and the absurd - two great tastes that, in my opinion, taste great together.

Any time there's a lot of pressure, it's life and death, you go toward this very dark kind of humor. Soldiers do it. Cops do it.

[Andrew Jackson] was actually 70 years old when he left the White House