Humor is a great defense, and an offense too. Usually the recipient isn't too happy about it, but the people around are laughing.

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.

I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.

I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless and they don't want anyone else to feel like that.

If women ran the world, we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

Why do they call it "rush hour" when nothing moves?

Don't associate yourself with toxic people. It's better to be alone and love yourself than surrounded by people that make you hate yourself.

Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures.

Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money.

Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

Avoid a wasteful life and make each unit of time count

An advanced city is not a place where the poor move about in cars, rather it’s where even the rich use public transportation

The worst thing that can happen to you in travel is having a gun pointed at you by a very young person. That's happened to me maybe four times in my life. I didn't like it.

Fondle the woman in your life once for every thousand times you play with your private parts. That should be just about right.

The key to successful business is self belief and application.

Emergency health care for illegal aliens along the southwestern border is already costing area hospitals $200 million a year, with perhaps another $100 million in extended care costs

I should like to make myself free to all who care to attend my lectures.

That's my favorite food group: donut. I love the donut.

There is but one pride pardonable; that of being above doing a base or dishonorable action.

We must follow, not force Providence.