Humor Quotes

Better it is to say that the government most comfortable to nature is that which best agrees with the humor and disposition of the people in whose favor it is established.

It's all there-the boredom, the devotion, the horror and even the humor in an industrial war fought on a global scale that we'll never see again. Unit histories just do not get any better.

In your heart you know he's right.

It takes time to develop a sense of humor, shared world views.

I understand from those who adore him, he [Julian Assange] has a great sense of humor which rarely gets an airing because he's dealing with such serious issues.

Her Majesty is not a subject.

I want to have fun. Life ain't no dress rehearsal. I want to have fun. I'm a comedian; I ain't no politician. So everything I do is with humor, with love.

Humor disarms people. They don't feel threatened.

I love bawdy humor, but not dirty humor.

A feminist jumps out of a manhole - oh, and she didn't like that.

I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.

The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.

Nostalgia: How long's that been around?

"God save our gracious Queen": Why would we invoke a non-specific deity to bail out these unelected spongers?

I once punched a bloke in the face for saying 'Hawk the Slayer' was rubbish, when what I should have said 'Dad, you're wrong.'

Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.

I am a confectionery-based existentialist.

This shed does not contain me.

But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like "Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!"

There we go, that's it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours.

Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently.

A grandchild is God's reward for raising a child.

Why do I have to feed the kids? They just ate twelve hours ago!

The dentist drills some more and you hear him make a mistake. And to cover it up, they all say the same thing: "Okay, rinse."

My mother comes in my room and says, "Just look at this mess! This is a pig sty!" Now, I've already been in the room five hours, and she wants me to LOOK at it.

I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was just walking from the lodge.

Progress is a continuing effort to make the things we eat, drink, and wear as good as they used to be.

Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents.

The really authentic thing about humor is that anyone can pretend to be serious. Anyone who's ever had a job - in fact, we're pretending to be serious now, more or less.

And then there was my mate who'd just been fitted with a brand new hearing aid. "It's the best in the world", he said. "What type is it?", I asked and he said "ten past twelve".

When you involved in an accident and someone asks "are you alright?" Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.

Sometimes there's a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I've ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.

I think New Yorkers - they're media savvy. People have a sense of humor.

A crisis + time = humor.

Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders.

If it was easy, everyone would be doing it, and you wouldn't have an opportunity.

My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.

I try to have all my characters have a sense of humor. To me the most interesting thing is a desperate character. I think desperation is funny.

That you, sister. May you be the mother of a bishop.

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences.

My comedy has no color, it's for everybody, black, white, Latino, Asian. It's not a pro-black show, not a def jam show; it's just straight, wholesome type of humor.

Whenever I indulge my sense of humor, it gets me into trouble.

With humor, it’s so subjective that trying to think of what the ideal reader would think would drive you crazy.

I think humor is the best gift, and if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

I think humor is often a very powerful tool to be able to express ideas that are heavy.

I think a sense of humor is the most important thing anyone can have.

Queen Elizabeth of England is the real fashion icon of the century. And she has a sense of humor.

musicians rarely have a sense of humour, at least, about themselves.

What I value most in new music today is strangeness, oddity. Passion. And humor. I listen to a lot of hip-hop because it combines so many things like that.

He's got a great sense of humor for a guy who never says anything.