This shed does not contain me.

In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we're united and enjoy life - Without unity we are victims. Stay united.

Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.

Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it.

Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.

Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.

Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.

The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.

Tonight's show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn't - haven't made my mind up yet.

Three women walk into a pub and say, 'Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format'

The Buddha taught complete honesty, with the extra instruction that everything a person says should be truthful and helpful.

When it came to adults, it was better not to talk. They had a way of hearing one thing and processing it as something else. No reason to give them an excuse to hurt you.

But writing poems and letters doesn't seem to do much good.

What you do is less important than the difference you make.

My life is my message to the world

My dad was nothing but a bingo call.

I've found the thing in life that I adore, which is working in science television. It's just a big adventure, really.

Salesmanship, too, is an art; the perfection of its technique requires study and practice.

Evangelism is a cross in the heart of God.

What is this "heart"? If I tear open that chest of yours, will I see it there? If I smash open that skull of yours, will I see it there?