Funny Quotes

I'm sure I look like a drowned cat.""You look fine. The wet look works for you."I scowled. "Now I know you're lying.

hey. I just wanted to make sure you got home, " I say. "Katniss, I live three houses away from you, " he says.

Honestly, Clary, if you don't start utilizing a bit of your natural feminine superiority I just don't know what I'll do with you.

Please tell me this is easier to take off than it was to put on.”Calla raised a brow. “You do not think Master Kell knows how?

CONFESSION NO. 18 Girls just want to have fun…and live to tell about it the next day.

Yeah, I was thinking about taking one of those showers where you huddle in the corner fully clothed and cry, " Archer offered.

I'll drive like my grandma. I'll drive like your grandma.""You wouldn't say that if you knew my gramma.

And so that means...""We have to rob the Henley, " Simon said.Kat sank onto a truly uncomfortable sofa. "Again.

WHAT DO WE WANT?! PATIENCE! WHEN DO WE WANT IT?! NOW!

I think so, ” she [Claire] said. “Just watch your back, okay?” “Nah, Michael’s got mine.” He [Shane] looked straight into her eyes.“I’ve got yours.

The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A Genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.

Be careful, though.""Aren't I always?""No, I think the word for how you usually are is 'reckless.

I only snatched him to get your attention, ” I said. “Now that I’ve got it, this is what I want.”“Damn my dame!” Al shouted, hands raised to the ceiling. “I knew it! Not another list!

And you look beautiful, " she added."I look like a cake.""But a beautiful cake.

He didn't want me to get hurt? Wow. Just wow. I might actually be close to a swoon here

I'm going to take a shower, " I said and prepared for the comment I knew was coming. "You know what they say, conserve water and shower with a friend.

If all women revealed their age, men would have nothing to hide from each other.

When I was alive, I mean the first time, Mussolini was in charge. We were at war.”“Mussolini?” Leo frowned. “Wasn’t he like BFFs with Hitler?

But Amy, " Elder says. "Space suits!

I'm way hot, " he muttered. "But I don't feel sick. Just — way hot."Fang

SHUT UP. Both of you. You're coming with me." To me he said, "Put some pant

Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain

There are very few personal problems that can't be solved with a suitable application of high explosives.

Iggy. This is not a democracy, " I said, (...)"It'sa Maxocracy.

Yes, I'm back, " he said, "And look who I ran into."Horace grinned at him. "i hope you ran into him hard.""As hard as I could.

Friends are like bras, attached near your heart for support. Foes are like panties, deported, every now and then, when they get dirty.

I felt my cheeks turn red, and she laughed out loud. But I didn't mind too much, because the last thing she saw was my middle finger aimed in her direction as I stepped outside

You mean she doesn’t intend to blow me up before the ceremony?” said Kai, taking the box. “How disappointing.

Look at him, ” she said, shaking her head. “Travis Maddox: Mr. Mom.

It's sick and twisted and violent. Other than that it is totally G rated.

Is there any good news?' Tesla

What? Quinn's one of them? I just thought he was an a*shole!

To ugly ducklings everywhere, Don't worry about those fluffy yellow morons:They'll never get to be swans

I am not forgotten, you know, no, I still receive a very great deal of fan

Otis, " I said."Shhh, " he said. "I'm incognito. Call me...Otis.""I'm not sure that's how incognito works, but okay."Otis, aka Otis climbed into the chair I'd reserved for Sam.

Trust her we girls are two sheets short of psycho when it comes to our special little time.

There was the smell of old books, a smell that has a way of making all libraries seem the same. Some say that smell is asbestos.

The Doctor: I've seen bigger.Clara: Really?The Doctor: Are you joking? It's massive!

You all right, man?' This should be my name. I could be like a super hero: You All Right Man. Ah...' I stumble.Don't bug Craig, ' Ronny is like. 'He's in the Craig zone. He's Craig-ing out.

Lusty blacksmiths and naughty princesses. Now that's scary

And she says, “Then let’s just take the effing road and get ourselves to Hav

Boy, you knock on the devil's door and he will head slam you through the wall.

Caroline, do you value your neck?""Yes, I'm rather fond of it. Why?""Because if you don't shut up, I'm going to wring it.

No, ” Shane said. “I’m not leaving you two here alone. We stick together.”“I’m still not kissing you, ” Michael said.“Tease.

She was hearing the words. They just weren't registering on her Richter scale of sanity.

Who are you and how did you get in here?" "I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.

Want to dance? We have music this time. And I don't have to punch you when we finish.

Bike lane: the section of the road that accommodates wide loads and has speed bumps to protect drunk drivers.

When she absently worried her bottom lip with one of her adorable little fangs, he s

Now listen, we need to be quiet as mice. No, quieter than that. As quiet as . . . as . . .” “Dead mice?” Reynie suggested. “Perfect, ” said Kate with an approving nod. “As quiet as dead mice.