Funny Quotes
How dare you open a spaceman's helmet on an uncharted planet? My eyeballs could've been sucked from their sockets!
Daemon!" Dee called from the kitchen. "I need your help!""We should go see what she's doing before she destroys your kitchen." He rubbed his hands down his face. "It's possible.
I guess we're oil and water. (Phoebe)I'd say we're more like gasoline and a blowtorch. (Dan)
Why did you tell her I'm your boyfriend? Why doesn't she know about your real one? - TimmyHe's English! And Mom...Mom hates foreigners! - Cat
Wait a second, " Clary said."I never understand why people say that, " Luke said, to no one in particular. "I wasn't going anywhere.
You will not pass!” Roman thundered.Great. Now he had decided he was Gandalf.
Shane dragged Eve's suitcase into the room and dumped it on the floor beside her bed. “Hey, Dark Princess? Here’s your crap. Also, bite me.
I must have killed a lot of cows in a past life for Karma to hate me this much.
The shortest horror story:The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door.
I love how you still think if you tell me to do something, I'll just check my brain at the door and do it.
It's funny how different people are. If I'd been this kid and someone was snarling "Ordering a pizza?" at me, without even thinking, I would have snarled back "Yeah. You want pepperoni?"-Maximum Ride
Are you in a suit?' I managed at last, my voice choking up. 'You didn’t have to dress up for me.''Quiet, Sage, ' he said. 'I’ll make the hilarious one-liners during this daring rescue.
Mal snickered. "What's so funny?""I just pictured the Darkling being cornered by a sweaty duchess trying to have her way with him.
This is America. We’re entitled to our opinions.”“Wrong. This is Texas. And my opinion is the only one that counts.
Why are you wearing a T-shirt under your other T-shirt?" Livvy asked."In case one of them is stolen, " Marked said, as it were entirely normal.
Me neither, ” Shane put in. “Homie don’t play that.”“I wonder, sometimes, if your generation speaks English at all, ” Amelie said.
My brother spent a large portion of the agonizingly slow drive to school banging his forehead on the stearing wheel.
Don't worry. You're just as sane as I am-Luna Lovegood
Be careful you don't cut yourself. The edges are sharp enough to shave with.''Girls don't shave', Arya said.'Maybe they should. Have you ever seen the septa's legs?
I passed out from stress? That’s it?”“I believe the princess term is fainted, ” said Thorne.
His eyebrows pulled in. “You won’t leave me, right? Even when I’m a pain in the ass?”“I vowed in front of God – and Elvis – that I wouldn’t, didn’t I?
Instead of heading for a big mental breakdown, I decided to have a small breakdown every Tuesday evening.
Are you okay?" I (Cassie) call up to him."Um. Define okay." (Ben)"Okay means you're not bleeding to death.""I'm okay.
But there's a juicy artery in your groin, " he said after a pause to regroup, his voice as slithery as a snake on a slide."Don't you talk dirty, " I told him. "I won't listen to that.
That’s us, ” he said. “Those five nuts right there.”Which one is me?” I asked.The little deformed one, ” Zoe suggested.Oh, shut up.
She moved like water, graceful and soft and lovely. Every part of me wanted to stick out my foot and trip her, just to see her stumble.
Not one word, " Kel warned. "Tobe and I have reached an understanding." Neal's lips twitched. "Why do I feel you did most of the understanding.
It's sometimes funny to watch some people doing something the wrong way but doing it confidently. Even more funny, they succeeded.
Vic knelt by Lucas's side. 'You look like crap, by the way.''Thanks for breaking it to me gently.' Lucas took a deep breath, then groaned.
I lost a horse today.''That sounds careless. What happened?''She jumped off a cliff.''A cliff! Is that normal?
Be a Samurai.Because you just never know what's behind the freaking sky.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you.
Working for Mab now, are you, Wolfman?" he smirked. "Like a good little attack dog? Will you also roll over and beg if she asks?
I may not have been completely honest about that.""You? Less than truthful? I'm shocked, Nikolai. Shocked and horrified.
Come on, " I said, taking his hand. Clutching the afghan with the other hand, he trailed down the hall after me, a snow white giant in tiny red underwear.
Her voice was now so shrill only bats would be able to hear it soon, but she had reached a level of indignation that rendered her temporarily speechless..
In the war room, love? What if someone comes in?”I stood and removed his shirt. “Then they’ll have a good story to tell.”“Good?” He adopted the pretense of being offended.“Prove me wrong.
Does it hurt?”He bent his head and lightly kissed her forehead. “Only when I laugh.”“I’ll try not to be funny.”“Epic fail, beautiful.
If god meant for people to talk into cellphones, he would've put our mouths on the side of our heads.
Dearest Annie, Roses are red. Violets are blue. I’m using my hand But I’m thinking of you. - Ronan P.S. Just to clarify, I’m using my hand to write this note…get your mind out of the gutter.
A man touched me: his hand... my thigh.I touched him too: my fist... his jaw.
What are you?” he demanded. “A slayer?" I rolled my eyes. “The name's Val, not Buffy. Do I look like a blond cheerleader with questionable taste in men?
He slowed down a bit more. "Gaia, how do you know these things?" She shrugged. "I'm smart." "And modest, too." "Modesty is a waste of time, " she pronounced. "I'll keep that in mind.
