Funny Quotes

I'm sick and tired of our generation being called the TV generation. What do you expect? We watched Lee Harvey Oswald get his brains blown out all over. How could we change the channel after that?

What's politically correct a lot of times is not funny.

I will not bond. I will not share. I refuse to nurture.

Loud, stupid and overeating will suffice as long as we also have the funny, the fierce and the intellectual

It's funny how things happen in life. Sometimes, you just take the opportunity when it comes. Life can be surprising.

I love Mikhail Bulgakov. He is very original and takes the story to unexpected places. I didn't realise political writing could be so funny.

I'd rather be funny than wise.

The French are always reticent to surrender to the wishes of their friends and always more than willing to surrender to the wishes of their enemies.

President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which.

It's literally murder on the dancefloor.

He's been breaking Olympic records like ninepins

Life is funny and we are really funny, especially when we get to be hoity toity; we can be so ridiculous. Life is fun.

A funny person is funny only for so long, but a wit can sit down and go on being spellbinding forever.

At boarding school you had to wear your name across your chest and your back, and obviously I had a pretty funny name. It wasn't Brown or Smith or Hughes.

Katherine Heigl, she was exactly the opposite of what I thought she'd be like. She smokes cigarettes, or she did then, and she's got a truck-driver's mouth, and she's really funny.

10 years ago, I would've host Saturday Night Live. But to me, the show has declined. For some reason, humor isn't what it was. It just, to me, it's not as funny as it was, not as sharply satirical.

There's a lot of very funny people I'd love to work with that I've never met, of course. I love Steve Martin and Jim Carrey.

My kids are funny. They won't eat the heels on a loaf of bread. So I patiently explained to them that they eat rolls, and rolls are all crust, just like heels...and now they won't eat rolls!

Funny enough, every role that I have had, I try to tone down my accent or speak with better diction.

I'm actually a thin serious person but I play fat and funny, but only for the movies.

I had to audition for the part of Jnior, and I wanted the role terribly because I knew it was a great character. This guy is a wonderful, funny, mean old guy.

I had no idea what they were saying in Italian as a child, they spoke too quickly on the radio. But I realized that language was very funny.

I bleed and breathe Hawks. Even when I played for other teams I felt funny, because I was a Hawk.

When I started off in DC, you didn't get viral first. You got funny first.

He's a very competitive competitor, that's the sort of competitor he is.

Sometimes I think what I write is funny in its quiet way.

I'm in the mood for love, simply because you're near me. Funny, but when you're near me I'm in the mood for love.

This must be a gift book. That is to say a book, which you wouldn't take on any other terms.

With freestyling it's not about "Say something funny!" That has nothing to do with it. It's about becoming quicker on your feet and knowing that your entire day can go into your rap if you're on it.

Einstein used science to get laid. That guy is a genius. I've been using money.

The motion picture Deadpool was my favorite funny movie of [2016]. Something that I could just watch over and over again, because it's just so... he says so many things.

I almost did the knee-jerk thing of saying Judge Judy is funny to me, but I just don't have the patience for the format of that show.

I started doing pot jokes, and I noticed that audiences invariably love pot jokes. Even people who don't smoke pot think it's a funny subject.

I've done coke 'til my nose was bleeding like the fourth week of Lilith Fair.

Doing stand-up takes the fun out of being funny.

A real cop fights real crime. A vice cop's only job is to ruin the party.

Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer.

There's nothing worse than sitting down to write a novel and saying, "Well, okay, I'm going to do something of high artistic worth." It's funny.

In this world truth can wait; she is used to it.

Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.

My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.

Comedy is rarely funny.

Standup comedy is fun. I mean other than having to experience the excruciating lonlieness and unacknowledged sadness that results in funny.

I could never be cynical, not that I think there's anything wrong with cynicism. I think it can be quite funny at times. But I just feel so grateful to be alive.

I happen to like things that are funny and dramatic at the same time. I don't see the difference.

You need to be funny in a way that people feel like you're trying to make a deeper connection. So that's what I try to do.

I see no reason to suppose these machines will ever force themselves into general use.

I've been blessed to have done different roles, but I don't think people see me as funny.

And then all of a sudden, you're doing jumping jacks, you're happy, because Kane can talk. The Big Red Retard can finally speak.

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