Funny Inspirational Quotes

It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it; it's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free.

Even I don't know what you're doing, and I know everything.

I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box.

There are people who don't like capitalism, and people who don't like PCs. But there's no-one who likes the PC who doesn't like Microsoft.

There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.

When superiors are fond of showing their humanity, inferiors try to outstrip one another in their practice of it.

When music and courtesy are better understood and appreciated, there will be no war.

If I were invited to a dinner party with my characters, I wouldn't show up.

God never slams a door in your face without opening a box of Girl Scout cookies.

'Tis the set of the sail that decides the goal, and not the storm of life.

The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.

As a cabin boy on a Norwegian sailing ship I earned five kronen a week in addition to my keep.

Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark.

We were wavering around like a ship without a sail.

Not to have control over the senses is like sailing in a rudderless ship, bound to break to pieces on coming in contact with the very first rock.

If anything is worth doing, it is worth doing it badly.

The movement of life has its rest in its own music.

Laughing, how can you fall asleep? It brings a state of no-mind and no-thought, and does not allow you to fall asleep.

Serenity of spirit and turbulence of action should make up the sum of a man's life.

We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?

I wanted to be a doctor in sports medicine; I was into sailing and all that sort of thing.

Stop worrying, nobody gets out of this world alive.

Learn, as if never overtaking your object, and yet as if apprehensive of losing it.

He who merely knows right principles is not equal to him who loves them.

Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had.

That's the fastest time ever run - but it's not as fast as the world record

Jet lag is for amateurs.

If we are strong, and have faith in life and its richness of surprises, and hold the rudder steadily in our hands. I am sure we will sail into quiet and pleasant waters for our old age.

Some old women and men grow bitter with age; the more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get.

Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.

Given a choice of weapons with you sir, I should choose grammar.

Men go back to the mountains, as they go back to sailing ships at sea, because in the mountains and on the sea they must face up.

There's a little truth in all jive, and a little jive in all truth.

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened.

Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk.

It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is absolutely fatal.

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.

Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not.

The great thing about taking big chances when you're younger is you have less to lose, and you don't know as much. So you take big swings.

We sail within a vast sphere, ever drifting in uncertainty, driven from end to end.

Judgement comes from experience, and great judgement comes from bad experience.

Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire.

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself.

There is good government when those who are near are made happy, and when those who are afar are attracted.

Worry not that no one knows you; seek to be worth knowing.

Heaven begat Virtue in me; what can man do unto me?