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Funny Inspirational Quotes

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Funny Inspirational Quotes: "Even I don't know what you're doing, and I know everything."

Even I don't know what you're doing, and I know everything.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box."

I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box.




Funny Inspirational Quotes: "There are people who don't like capitalism, and people who don't like PCs. But there's no-one who likes the PC who doesn't like Microsoft."

There are people who don't like capitalism, and people who don't like PCs. But there's no-one who likes the PC who doesn't like Microsoft.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker."

There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.




Funny Inspirational Quotes: "When superiors are fond of showing their humanity, inferiors try to outstrip one another in their practice of it."

When superiors are fond of showing their humanity, inferiors try to outstrip one another in their practice of it.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "When music and courtesy are better understood and appreciated, there will be no war."

When music and courtesy are better understood and appreciated, there will be no war.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "If I were invited to a dinner party with my characters, I wouldn't show up."

If I were invited to a dinner party with my characters, I wouldn't show up.




Funny Inspirational Quotes: "God never slams a door in your face without opening a box of Girl Scout cookies."

God never slams a door in your face without opening a box of Girl Scout cookies.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "'Tis the set of the sail that decides the goal, and not the storm of life."

'Tis the set of the sail that decides the goal, and not the storm of life.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean."

The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "As a cabin boy on a Norwegian sailing ship I earned five kronen a week in addition to my keep."

As a cabin boy on a Norwegian sailing ship I earned five kronen a week in addition to my keep.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath."

Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.




Funny Inspirational Quotes: "A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark."

A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "We were wavering around like a ship without a sail."

We were wavering around like a ship without a sail.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "Not to have control over the senses is like sailing in a rudderless ship, bound to break to pieces on coming in contact with the very first rock."

Not to have control over the senses is like sailing in a rudderless ship, bound to break to pieces on coming in contact with the very first rock.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "If anything is worth doing, it is worth doing it badly."

If anything is worth doing, it is worth doing it badly.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "The movement of life has its rest in its own music."

The movement of life has its rest in its own music.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "Laughing, how can you fall asleep? It brings a state of no-mind and no-thought, and does not allow you to fall asleep."

Laughing, how can you fall asleep? It brings a state of no-mind and no-thought, and does not allow you to fall asleep.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "Serenity of spirit and turbulence of action should make up the sum of a man's life."

Serenity of spirit and turbulence of action should make up the sum of a man's life.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks."

We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?"

I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "I wanted to be a doctor in sports medicine; I was into sailing and all that sort of thing."

I wanted to be a doctor in sports medicine; I was into sailing and all that sort of thing.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "Stop worrying, nobody gets out of this world alive."

Stop worrying, nobody gets out of this world alive.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "Learn, as if never overtaking your object, and yet as if apprehensive of losing it."

Learn, as if never overtaking your object, and yet as if apprehensive of losing it.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "He who merely knows right principles is not equal to him who loves them."

He who merely knows right principles is not equal to him who loves them.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had."

Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "That's the fastest time ever run - but it's not as fast as the world record"

That's the fastest time ever run - but it's not as fast as the world record



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "Jet lag is for amateurs."

Jet lag is for amateurs.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "If we are strong, and have faith in life and its richness of surprises, and hold the rudder steadily in our hands. I am sure we will sail into quiet and pleasant waters for our old age."

If we are strong, and have faith in life and its richness of surprises, and hold the rudder steadily in our hands. I am sure we will sail into quiet and pleasant waters for our old age.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "Some old women and men grow bitter with age; the more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get."

Some old women and men grow bitter with age; the more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."

Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "Given a choice of weapons with you sir, I should choose grammar."

Given a choice of weapons with you sir, I should choose grammar.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "Men go back to the mountains, as they go back to sailing ships at sea, because in the mountains and on the sea they must face up."

Men go back to the mountains, as they go back to sailing ships at sea, because in the mountains and on the sea they must face up.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "There's a little truth in all jive, and a little jive in all truth."

There's a little truth in all jive, and a little jive in all truth.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position."

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened."

There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk."

Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is absolutely fatal."

It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is absolutely fatal.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside."

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute."

You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not."

Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "The great thing about taking big chances when you're younger is you have less to lose, and you don't know as much. So you take big swings."

The great thing about taking big chances when you're younger is you have less to lose, and you don't know as much. So you take big swings.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "We sail within a vast sphere, ever drifting in uncertainty, driven from end to end."

We sail within a vast sphere, ever drifting in uncertainty, driven from end to end.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "Judgement comes from experience, and great judgement comes from bad experience."

Judgement comes from experience, and great judgement comes from bad experience.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire."

Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself."

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "There is good government when those who are near are made happy, and when those who are afar are attracted."

There is good government when those who are near are made happy, and when those who are afar are attracted.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "Worry not that no one knows you; seek to be worth knowing."

Worry not that no one knows you; seek to be worth knowing.



Funny Inspirational Quotes: "Heaven begat Virtue in me; what can man do unto me?"

Heaven begat Virtue in me; what can man do unto me?