Some old women and men grow bitter with age; the more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get.

A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain. It can be and is often treasured by the recipient for life.

A man bitten by a dog, whether the animal is mad or not, is apt to get mad himself.

A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain, while witty saying are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a broken string.

A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth.

There is a realm where the rainbow never fades

Prejudice is the twin of illiberality.

He is a first-rate collector who can, upon all occasions, collect his wits.

It is undoubtedly true that some people mistake sycophancy for good nature, but it is equally true that many more mistake impertinence for sincerity.

The pen is a formidable weapon, but a man can kill himself with it a great deal more easily than he can other people.

A great many political speeches are literary parricides; they kill their fathers.

It is strange how loud little sounds become when you are in the dark and doing something wrong.

What is the essence of one's religious affiliation if one isn't living by moral principles?

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.

If a man empties his purse into his head, no one can take it from him.

Better a thousandfold abuse of free speech than denial of free speech.

The great chasm between the thing I say, and the thing I would say, would be quite dispiriting to me, in spite even of such kindnesses as yours, if the desire did not master the despondency.

You can buy [John McCain's] book, but in a week and a half, he'll have another.

Singing has nothing to do with the affairs of this world: it is not for the law. Singers are merry, and free from sorrows and cares.

Some possessions are like old friends, and you never want to abandon an old friend.

I used to do stuff at college. I could do voices. I could make some people laugh. I wasn't the class clown, but I knew I had this skill.