Comedy Quotes
![Comedy Quotes: "Applaud my friends, the comedy is over...[on his death bed]"](https://www.quoteslyfe.com/images/collection3/quotations205/Applaud-my-friends-the-comedy-is-over-205578.jpg)
I wanted to join Footlights, ” he says. “I wanted to be a writer-performer like the Pythons. In fact I wanted to be John Cleese and it took me some time to realise that the job was in fact taken.
CASSIO: Dost thou hear, my honest friend?CLOWN: No, I hear not your honest friend, I hear you.CASSIO: Prithee, keep up thy quillets.
JACKYou're quite perfect, Miss Fairfax.GWENDOLENOh! I hope I am not that. It would leave no room for developments, and I intend to develop in many directions.
I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thyeyes—and moreover, I will go with thee to thy uncle’s.
Jim said he believed it was spirits, but I says: no, spirits wouldn't say "dern the dern fog".
Your name. That’s all I want.” I debate on whether or not I should explain to him that my name isn't going to help him in his stalking endeavours.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
I don't need therapy. I'm not going to see a therapist comedy acts as my therapy. I put my problems out there. I talk about them. I talk about everything before anybody has a chance.
I simply regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world created therein has different rules than my regular human world.
Some stories have to be written because no one would believe the absurdity of it all.
Who’s there?”“The scratcher of your itch, ” he said.She opened the door a crack and stuck her nose out. “Was that supposed to be romantic?
Just leave me alone, I want to be alone, ” she said when Jack tried to open the car door. She hit the lock, and wound the window up. Since the roof was down, it was a fairly pointless exercise.
One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up.
I want to rip the rest of those buttons open and climb him like a monkey in a banana tree. Oh God, what I would do with his banana...
She’s not ready and maybe she never will be, but I won’t stop trying. I’ll be patient if it kills me. I can just see it now. Cooper Hebert died of blue balls and a broken heart.
To neglect ones own ability to laugh is the greatest form of Blasphemy, for to laugh is to pray.
I was just wondering how long we were going to pretend like we annoyed each other before we started sleeping together.
It seems to me that they only seem to mention things in the Bible that are within a 5 mile radius of the guy writing it.
Behind every successful man, is a Woman breathing through her mouth
Time heals all wounds. Unless they're infected. Like gangrene. That shit'll kill you.
My mother had tried to fool me into thinking I was a natural beauty, and I’d believed her for a little while, that is, until I moved to the land of beautiful people.
This isn't where I intended to be. Killing a person has a funny way of getting your life off-track.
This isn't where I intended to be. Killing a person has a funny way of getting your life off-track. (Dark City Lights)
The train hit her with the sound of a meat-filled hefty bag smacking the pavement, and the effect was much the same, I guess. (Dark City Lights)
When you keep a secret from your parents, you're not trying to protect yourself. It's because you're trying to protect them.
Facebook should start publishing breakup stories. 'So and so and so and so are no longer in a relationship.' With a tombstone next to it.
Well, bloody noses." I hug his coat tighter. "Those are definitely hot.
When people get into their 30s plus "boyfriend" sounds weird...if you really think about it. Instead, I think we should universally start using the term "manfriend" or "snookie bookie cuddles pie".
If you are reading this, I'm dead. Don't celebrate too much. Jesus is watching.
