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Yakov Smirnoff Quotes

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Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection."

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter."

I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.




Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland."

In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!"

In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!




Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!"

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart."

It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds."

Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.




Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering."

I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to."

I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter."

I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in."

The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!"

In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!




Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "If love is the treasure, laughter is the key."

If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there."

Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington."

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good."

I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "Russian men have a saying: "Women are like buses..." That's it."

Russian men have a saying: "Women are like buses..." That's it.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "Never having alone time is real tough on people."

Never having alone time is real tough on people.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!"

In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads; this is the reason we stop laughing."

In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads; this is the reason we stop laughing.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel."

We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year."

Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter."

When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete."

In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love."

My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales."

We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!"

In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling."

Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "I fed my ego, but not my soul."

I fed my ego, but not my soul.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore."

After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it."

If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds."

Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile."

Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language."

I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!"

In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "I came to America to make it my home, and I did."

I came to America to make it my home, and I did.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original."

A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "I have American in-laws, and I care about the environment. We don't use disposable diapers, which, of course, creates an environmental problem of our own."

I have American in-laws, and I care about the environment. We don't use disposable diapers, which, of course, creates an environmental problem of our own.



Yakov Smirnoff Quotes: "Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year. That's why you need a strong line of communication... which includes laughter."

Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year. That's why you need a strong line of communication... which includes laughter.