Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.

In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.

In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!

It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.

I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.

Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.

I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.

I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.

Use our memories as an asset not as a liability. Don't let it be our inner curse but share them as a rare gift.

Calling upon the angels when we are in need, helps the angels fulfill their heavenly mission. We are truly co-creators with them.

Traders lose because the game is hard, or out of ignorance, or lack of discipline or because of both.

Sophistication called for a variety of talents and attitudes, but the minimum requirement was being in New York. Not all New Yorkers achieved it, but nobody elsewhere had a prayer.

In a country like Pakistan where is politics is often an art form of the elite, and it's often very dynastic, it's hard to explain to people why I don't think it's a birthright.

The only realistic view is that a human life arises gradually, which is not much help in making personal decisions or devising public policy.

I learned life were no dream I learned truth deceived Man is not God Life is a century Death an instant

Two of the most frustrated trades are dentists and photographers - dentists because they want to be doctors, and photographers because they want to be painters.

As we emulate His example, we will bless lives, including our own.

If our virtues did not go forth of us, it were all alike as if we had them not.