I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.

In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.

In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!

It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.

I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.

Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.

I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.

A peace that blacked yer eye, ' I say. 'A peace that split yer lip.' He looks at me for another second and then gives a sad snort. “The words of a sage, ” he says, “in the voice of a hick.

Tennis is mostly mental. Of course, you must have a lot of physical skill, but you can't play tennis well and not be a good thinker. You win or lose the match before you even go out there.

The concept of endless love is something that we can exercise in all kinds of ways.

Always be courageous and strong, & don't fear. You've got to be confident when you're competing. You've got to be a beast.

In documentary films, you're a storyteller using found objects. You still have to have a story arc and all the elements that make a good story. It really helped me mature as a storyteller.

If nothing is delightful without love and jokes, then live in love and jokes.

Your choice to believe and keep covenants will leave a rich legacy of faith for those who follow you.

They have an unusual relationship. And when things are good, it's magic.

What I don't like is talking points.

As in the eye of Nature he has lived, So in the eye of Nature let him die!