The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.

Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.

Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.

One of God’s high callings for His people is that they be teachers of good things.

We can always find something to be thankful for, and there may be reasons why we ought to be thankful for even those dispensations which appear dark and frowning.

You either like me or you don't. It took me twenty-something years to learn how to love myself, I don't have that kinda time to convince somebody else.

The shelf life of molecules is very short. Ninety-eight percent of all the atoms in my body are gone by next year.

There are really no serious arguments for communion in the hand. But there are the most gravely serious kinds of arguments against it.

I got a job immediately after leaving high school; I was lucky - three dollars a week and all I could eat, working on a vegetable truck.

What is important is no longer either a signature or a number, but a code: the code is a password.

I have a room all to myself; it is nature.

Listen - man is a child of Nature. When he turns against his mother - he's done! He may not find out about it right away, but he will.

People don't understand that you can actually lose your life going to jail. There's more violence in the jail-house than there is on the streets.