never underestimate your dumbness!!

School prepares you for the real world... which also bites.

Kissing the frog to get the prince is a waste of a perfectly good frog.

My pants cut the cheese. Let one fly. Baked a batch of brownies.

This means that I don't have to run faster than the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal, I just have to run faster than whoever is with me when the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal starts chasing us.

How Superheroes Make Money: - Spider-Man knits sweaters. - Superman screw the lids on pickle jars. - Iron Man, as you would suspect, just irons.

He giggled like a puppy being tickled by a kitten wearing a duckling costume.

The Destructive Arts are exactly like Martial Arts, except they don't have uniforms or usefulness and the end result doesn't resemble art in any way.

I can't imagine the scientists wanting me to walk into the lab and start fiddling around with some big bowl of electrons they had out.

Love makes the world go 'round but I'm pretty sure money has to do with it, too.

Buy me stuff and I'll be nicer

Our greatest quest in life should be to live in the light!

Each day carries in the blessings of God and you have unlimited access to all it offers.

If you find a book you like on Amazon, please buy it somewhere else!

I love you but I got to love me more.

All stories interest me, and some haunt me until I end up writing them. Certain themes keep coming up: justice, loyalty, violence, death, political and social issues, freedom.

I always say that one has no right to hope without endeavor.

When Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark came out, I got to go to Japan and Australia and France, Italy, Germany, everywhere with the movie. That was great, because I love traveling.

I wouldn't really say I'm a jazz guy, which I'm not.

Clever policy consists in making nations believe they are free.

Humanity will never be religious unless all organized religions disappear and religion becomes an individual commitment towards existence.