Zsa Zsa Gabor, the only woman ever to apply for group alimony. Never got a dinner!

There is only one goal. That's to keep working and keep flossing.

When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.

Moses, who said to the children of Israel, Wear your galoshes; I never did this trick before. Never got a dinner!

Donald Trump's mother, who said, Donnie! Stop playing Monopoly and get in that barber's chair! Never got a dinner!

Amelia Earhart, who said, Stop looking for me; see if you can find my luggage! Never got a dinner!

Aladdin, who said to his wife, I know it's not a lamp, keep rubbing! Never got a dinner!

George W. Bush, who said to Pope John Paul II, Give us a visit, and bring the missus. Never got a dinner!

King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!

Orville Wright said to his brother, "Wilbur, you were only in the air for 12 seconds. How could my luggage be in Cleveland?"

Jack the Ripper's mother, who said to Jack, How come I never see you with the same girl twice? Never got a dinner!

The writer's gift can make us see ourselves and our morals differently than our reality suggests.

People change. Sometimes I think they don't know they're changing until it's already happened, though. You get so used to being one person, it's weird when you wake up and everything is different.

God has editing rights over our prayers. He will... edit them correct them bring them in line with His will and then hand them back to us to be resubmitted.

As the little boy said to the Sunday School teacher after being told the reason we are on Earth is to help others: "Then what are the others here for?"

Islam cannot have a significant presence in Australia if we are to live in an open, secular, and cohesive society. We have seen the destruction it is causing around the world.

As the twig is bent the tree is inclined.

A Dwarfe on a Gyants shoulder sees further of the two. [A dwarf on a giant's shoulder sees farther of the two.

If it is possible for the human tongue to give the fullest description of God, I have come to the conclusion that God is Truth.

I can be a very valuable friend to you, but you do not want me as an enemy.

There's lots of fun in this world, after all. And if there isn't, there is in the next. And we're going there, sure.