You know, I never imagined there were he-dryads. Not even in an oak tree." One of the giants grinned at him. Druellae snorted. "Stupid! Where do you think acorns come from?

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

In search of love and music my whole life has beenIlluminationCorruptionAnd diving, diving, diving, diving down To pick up on every shiny thing

Speak kindly to with adult women as you would to your mother.

Stop talking about how you will build an empire, and start building it right at this very moment. Time never waits for anyone to feel perfectly ready.

One of the very important characteristics of a student is to question. Let the students ask questions.

Time deals gently with me; and though I feel that I descend, the slope is easy.

I've never written a play before, and I'll never write one again. You can quote me.

The desire for self-esteem without integrity is like the desire for wealth without effort-a longing for the unearned.

If it's a story that I feel is exciting and necessary, those are really motivating factors for me.

I'm just a big believer in 'you must love yourself before you can love anybody else,' and I think for me that breeds the most inspired relationships.

And if Henry Higgins is not the most reprehensible character ever written for the stage, that's only because somewhere, somehow, someone is composing a musical biography of Ronald Reagan