You have to really kiss up to EVERYONE! Kiss up to anyone you think can help you. That's really the best advice I can give. You obviously have to have an act - but, maybe you don't.

My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, "Just wait."

How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit a suicide?

What do men want? Men want a mattress that cooks.

Friends are just enemies who don't have enough guts to kill you.

I turned down a date once because I was looking for someone a little closer to the top of the food chain.

Love Goddess in training. It could happen.

I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor didn't exist.

I'm half-Italian and half-Polish. So I'm always putting a hit out on myself.

You can't get a body like mine in a bottle unless you push real hard.

My work is a mitzvah for the eyes & ears...and it will help you forget about your problems by thinking about mine for a change!

Character depends on characters. Few people are character. Other's should try to opt one but they don't, they lose.

The goal of libertarianism is not to permit people to be free, but to make them realize that they don't need anyone's permission to be free.

Well I have a microphone and you don't so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!

Change ain't looking for friends. Change calls the tune we all dance to.

I mean, we do believe in due process in America. I thought we did.

I do read everything that we publish. We usually have to have two or three votes for a book before we take it on. So in that sense I suppose it is an orchestra.

Eating is one of the great beauties in life. One of my favorite recreations... eating with friends, the service, the ambience.

He frowns. "A dance with the carnivorous Felicity? Why? Has she eaten all the other available gentlemen?

I get one hour, really 25 minutes in a sermon on a weekend, to combat all the hours of the week that people are told you are what you have through billboards, commercials, and sitcoms, and so forth.

Necromancer gives readers what they've long waited for -- a rousing conclusion to the trilogy begun in Nomadin and continued in NiDemon. Put this trilogy on your 'must-keep' shelf. Enjoy!