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Judy Tenuta Quotes

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Judy Tenuta Quotes: "How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit a suicide?"

How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit a suicide?



Judy Tenuta Quotes: "What do men want? Men want a mattress that cooks."

What do men want? Men want a mattress that cooks.




Judy Tenuta Quotes: "Friends are just enemies who don't have enough guts to kill you."

Friends are just enemies who don't have enough guts to kill you.



Judy Tenuta Quotes: "I turned down a date once because I was looking for someone a little closer to the top of the food chain."

I turned down a date once because I was looking for someone a little closer to the top of the food chain.




Judy Tenuta Quotes: "Love Goddess in training. It could happen."

Love Goddess in training. It could happen.



Judy Tenuta Quotes: "I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor didn't exist."

I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor didn't exist.



Judy Tenuta Quotes: "I'm half-Italian and half-Polish. So I'm always putting a hit out on myself."

I'm half-Italian and half-Polish. So I'm always putting a hit out on myself.




Judy Tenuta Quotes: "You can't get a body like mine in a bottle unless you push real hard."

You can't get a body like mine in a bottle unless you push real hard.



Judy Tenuta Quotes: "My work is a mitzvah for the eyes & ears...and it will help you forget about your problems by thinking about mine for a change!"

My work is a mitzvah for the eyes & ears...and it will help you forget about your problems by thinking about mine for a change!



Judy Tenuta Quotes: "I am more comfortable doing comedy, and I want to perform comedy. When you can really make someone laugh, that's a healing experience. It's like music. A lot of music is really healing."

I am more comfortable doing comedy, and I want to perform comedy. When you can really make someone laugh, that's a healing experience. It's like music. A lot of music is really healing.



Judy Tenuta Quotes: "I am a morning person...I love waking up, walking & reveling In the beauty of all the flowers and trees....while chugging a 5th of vodka!!! It could happen."

I am a morning person...I love waking up, walking & reveling In the beauty of all the flowers and trees....while chugging a 5th of vodka!!! It could happen.



Judy Tenuta Quotes: "You have to really kiss up to EVERYONE! Kiss up to anyone you think can help you. That's really the best advice I can give. You obviously have to have an act - but, maybe you don't."

You have to really kiss up to EVERYONE! Kiss up to anyone you think can help you. That's really the best advice I can give. You obviously have to have an act - but, maybe you don't.




Judy Tenuta Quotes: "My mother said "You won't amount to anything because you procrastinate." I said "Just wait.""

My mother said "You won't amount to anything because you procrastinate." I said "Just wait."