I'm half-Italian and half-Polish. So I'm always putting a hit out on myself.

My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, "Just wait."

How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit a suicide?

What do men want? Men want a mattress that cooks.

Friends are just enemies who don't have enough guts to kill you.

I turned down a date once because I was looking for someone a little closer to the top of the food chain.

Love Goddess in training. It could happen.

I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor didn't exist.

You can't get a body like mine in a bottle unless you push real hard.

My work is a mitzvah for the eyes & ears...and it will help you forget about your problems by thinking about mine for a change!

I am more comfortable doing comedy, and I want to perform comedy. When you can really make someone laugh, that's a healing experience. It's like music. A lot of music is really healing.

Muscles aching to work, minds aching to create - this is man.

Did we salivate for sadness, or had we only learned to enjoy what we were forced to eat?

Roza." His voice had that same wonderful lowness, the same accent . . . itwas all just colder. "You forgot my first lesson: Don’t hesitate.

In a business world, only the smartest survive”.

I think there's a down-to-earthness with Midwesterners and with people from the Midlands - which is where my family is from - in Ireland.

There is no evolving, only unfolding. The lily is in the bit of dust which is its beginning, lily and nothing but lily: and the lily in blossom is a ne plus ultra: there is no evolving beyond.

I'm a painter in my dreams, you know.

A true friend is distinguished in the crisis of hazard and necessity; when the gallantry of his aid may show the worth of his soul and the loyalty of his heart.

I write stories about conspiracies and paranoid characters while I am, in fact, a very skeptical person.

I sound my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world.