You couldn't say 'I had orders.' You couldn't say 'It's not fair.' No one was listening. There were no Words. You owned yourself. [...] Not 'Thou Shalt Not'. Say 'I Will Not'.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

One special advantage of the skeptical attitude of mind is that a man is never vexed to find that after all he has been in the wrong.

if you are to begin at the beginning of the end, do not wait till the end before you begin. Time and timing is an essential accoutrement in the journey of life.

I don't even really understand that concept of someone being 'smart' or someone else being 'smarter.' I think that except for the obvious special cases, we're all equal.

The highest priority you can have is education.

We live under the sun, but our destiny is beyond its rising and setting.

Not fat, just not anorexic. She's soft in all the right places.

Of men who have a sense of honor, more come through alive than are slain, but from those who flee comes neither glory nor any help.

I do not want to work to correspond to an image.

There is nothing far-fetched about disappointment as a subject for comedy. It's something we are all too familiar with.

They, then, who are destined to die, need not be careful to inquire what death they are to die, but into what place death will usher them.