Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Losing path is a magic! If you can enjoy with the unknown path, you shall find the exit much quicker!

Very few problems cannot be solved by either coffee, wine or chocolate.

Paul spoke about the root of faith (Eph 2:8). James spoke about the fruit of faith (Jm 2:17-18).

I've never really wanted to go to Japan, simply because I don't like eating fish and I know that's very popular out there in Africa.

We ask only that the law shall work alike on all men.

Skepticism rather than credulity is the highest principle that the human intellect can use to ennoble our existence.

One common desire that every human being has is to love and be loved. At the end of our lives, it's how we measure our lives.

He just wanted to hold her to him and tell her it would be okay, that she had survived and was beautiful.

How can a man's life keep it's course If he will not let it flow, Those who flow as life flows know They need no other force: They feel no wear, they feel no tear, They need no mending, no repair.

As Shakespeare said, there's nothin' cooler than droppin' the 'g's off of gerunds!