When in doubt, look intelligent.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

It is straightforward—and never mind, for now, about plagues and famines: if God existed, and if he cared for humankind, he would never have given us religion.

A work of art which did not begin in emotion is not art.

at last he understood that he has always been forgiven and worthy of love, and that no one could take that from him, that not even he could take that from himself.

If we aren't willing to change, we aren't willing to unconditionally love.

The camera is as subjective as we are.

I enjoy going on motorcycle trips and stopping in small towns and enjoying drinks with the locals.

People who accomplish big things did small things well.

And I love Mel Brooks. My Dad loved his movies, too, they're awesome, the kind of thing that if you're in for ten minutes, you're in for two hours.

Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

I have a lot to learn about NASCAR. But I've learned if you have the right people in the right places doing the right things, you can be successful at whatever you do.