When actors begin to think, it's time for a change. They are not fitted for it.

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything

Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.

It may be those who do most, dream most.

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.

Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.

She did not believe he could have really gone, because for her, to leave the person you loved was impossible.

It is a damn poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word.

Publicity is the soul of stupidity, but we must not forget that we live in a stupid universe, so publicity is the engine of our world.

All girls are beautiful, and when they say they're ugly they only lie to themselves, for it's impossible for them to be ugly.

When we share those stories we've been scared to share, voicelessness loses it's wicked grasp.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

In every country today, there is politics. It may be authoritarian politics, but there is politics.

What the hell difference does it make?

I'm very competitive and if I'm not in the weight room than someone is getting better than me. I just have to stay in there and prove myself any way that I can.

All the monsters in your mind just want to be nice. They want to be kind. They want to play nice. They want to be softer than the storms around. You feel them through the windows and the doors.