When I left school I was full of angst, like any teenager, and I channeled it all into comedy.

It's very likely that graduates, current employees and retirees have some wonderful pieces of Deer Park history in their closets or garages.

The most useful form of time travel would be to go back a year or two and rectify the mistakes we made.

Keep yourself busy if you want to avoid depression. For me, inactivity is the enemy.

What fun is life without a bit of showing off?

People see my impressions as a great skill and I am flattered, but there are things I can't do that everyone else can. I can do funny voices and funny faces but I can't drive.

I finally learned to love myself by dressing up as Geri Halliwell.

It's important to hold something back, though, because quite frankly my personal life is pretty dull and I don't want to bore people with it.

If the worst that happens is that I wake up and see a picture of myself and a headline saying, 'He wasn't very funny last night', then I've got nothing to complain about.

Comedians don't have a monopoly on suffering. But creative people are sometimes fortunate enough to be able to incorporate their most traumatic experiences into their art.

I think this [Gnomeo & Juliet] is the closest I ought to get to Shakespeare to be honest.

The best space movie in my view is 'Apollo 13.' That's just the way it happened.

It is only men who are free, who create the inventions and intellectual works which to us moderns make life worth while.

The bigger a man's gun the smaller his doodlewick.

My hope lives not because I am not a sinner, but because I am a sinner for whom Christ died.

Oh, I am not going to die, am I? He will not separate us, we have been so happy.

I want to go on tour with the most exciting artists, and I want to make sure that I have songs with all of them.

Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it's trying to save its body.

Politicians are notoriously economically illiterate. And even when they know what would be the right thing, we don't really expect them to do it.

I feel like the Kurt Cobain of my generation, but people just don't understand me.

I'm not a writer where I feel particularly blessed by great inspiration every day. I don't. I have to work really hard at it to try and say the things I'm concerned with.