What fun is life without a bit of showing off?

When I left school I was full of angst, like any teenager, and I channeled it all into comedy.

It's very likely that graduates, current employees and retirees have some wonderful pieces of Deer Park history in their closets or garages.

The most useful form of time travel would be to go back a year or two and rectify the mistakes we made.

Keep yourself busy if you want to avoid depression. For me, inactivity is the enemy.

People see my impressions as a great skill and I am flattered, but there are things I can't do that everyone else can. I can do funny voices and funny faces but I can't drive.

I finally learned to love myself by dressing up as Geri Halliwell.

It's important to hold something back, though, because quite frankly my personal life is pretty dull and I don't want to bore people with it.

If the worst that happens is that I wake up and see a picture of myself and a headline saying, 'He wasn't very funny last night', then I've got nothing to complain about.

Comedians don't have a monopoly on suffering. But creative people are sometimes fortunate enough to be able to incorporate their most traumatic experiences into their art.

I think this [Gnomeo & Juliet] is the closest I ought to get to Shakespeare to be honest.

changing your habits is your key to changing your life

When mindfulness is present, the Buddha and the Holy Spirit are already there,

Your life is a reflection… you don't get what you WANT, you get what you ARE. You gotta BE it to SEE it.

The bigotry of the nonbeliever is for me nearly as funny as the bigotry of the believer.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to go there right away.

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

All the white meat is gone. There's nothin' but necks on the platter.

Let the GRATEFUL HEART sweep through the day that it may recognize in every hour some sweet blessing.

If caregivers are not healthy, mentally well-balanced and spiritually sound, then those for whom they care will suffer.

I scream, you scream, we all scream... for the truth.