We're always hearing about risk-takers whose risks paid off, but they are no braver than those whose risks end in ridicule.

A dog is not intelligent. Never trust an animal that's surprised by it's own farts

Cider was my drink because I liked the taste and it made me stupid.

You can spend your whole life trying to be popular, but at the end of the day, the size of the crowd at your funeral will be largely dictated by the weather.

I honestly thought my marriage would work because me and the wife did share a sense of humour. We had to really, because she didn't have one.

So, Arsenal have signed Arsene Wenger because his name sounds a bit like the club. How long before Man Utd sign Stefan Kuntz?

How do I relax? This might sound slightly ridiculous but I play the ukulele for at least an hour a day and I find something really blissful about it.

Professional footballers - those virile young stags of our modern culture - are near perpetual fountains of sputum.

I'm world-famous in West Bromwich.

The love that moves the sun and the other stars.

The Creator chooses.

That is why most great love stories are tragedies.

Everything that can happen, does. That's quantum mechanics. But this does not mean everything happens. The rest of physics is about describing what can happen and what can't.

Gloating is a superficial glowing, floating is an idle flowing, and bloatedness is the paralysis of blowing up; because silent movement results in loud victories.

Time for Tolerance,Equality, and Acceptance, It's allways TEA time with my Friends.

I believe that the end of things man-made cannot be very far away - must be near at hand.

But let me do I will show the world what gymnastics looks like. Well may be this is a future gymnastics.

Democracy is a life, and involves continual struggle.