I'm world-famous in West Bromwich.

A dog is not intelligent. Never trust an animal that's surprised by it's own farts

Cider was my drink because I liked the taste and it made me stupid.

You can spend your whole life trying to be popular, but at the end of the day, the size of the crowd at your funeral will be largely dictated by the weather.

I honestly thought my marriage would work because me and the wife did share a sense of humour. We had to really, because she didn't have one.

So, Arsenal have signed Arsene Wenger because his name sounds a bit like the club. How long before Man Utd sign Stefan Kuntz?

How do I relax? This might sound slightly ridiculous but I play the ukulele for at least an hour a day and I find something really blissful about it.

We're always hearing about risk-takers whose risks paid off, but they are no braver than those whose risks end in ridicule.

Professional footballers - those virile young stags of our modern culture - are near perpetual fountains of sputum.

The function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers.

When you get deep ecologists who are philosophers, and they drive cars and take newspapers and don't grow their own vegetables, in fact they're not deep ecologists - they're my enemies.

Keeping a journal implies hope.

Successes teach you nothing. Failures teach you everything. Making mistakes is the most important thing you can do.

I hitchhiked, took trucks 'n' trains - anything that would pick me up. I stopped in Memphis for about six months and they found me and come got me. Stayed about a month an' split again.

Well, I think the global economy is in the position for continuing good growth with inflation well in check.

It is a great art to be superior to others without letting them know it.

There's always somebody older, richer, more desperate than you.

The healthiest companies are always characterized by organic talent development.

Imagine the vanity of thinking that your enemy can do you more damage than your enmity.