Wanna see how creepy I can be?"-Mr Teatime

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

There are lots of things I could have done for the money, but I've made a great living doing the things I want to do.

I've often liked a girl, made her laugh, and thought she liked me, and then found out that she didn't like me that way. I've definitely done time in the friend zone.

We didn't sleep last week - we literally didn't sleep - because we've been so busy with the book.

Science studies the relations of things to each other: but art studies only their relations to man.

My husband is very proud of me and what I do. Which I think is really sweet.

He loved her beyond all reason and didn't expect her to love him back. He was just waiting for her to wise up.

It is better to entertain an idea than to take home to live with you for the rest of your life.

Do the best you can and never stop.

Victory and defeat are each of the same price.

Forgetting is natural, remembering is the effort one makes.